Sunday, January 19, 2014

Welcome to 2014

Hello blog.

Long time no see, feeling a bit down recently.

Just feel like writing some nonsense that I cant say out.
cos i dont think anyone is interested to listen as well

Thinking through about my life now..
What do I want to do?

unknowingly. boom. its another year alr.
desperately waiting to finish my studies.
after all, im studying for the sake of it.
not because i like or want it.

so this is making me really unhappy.
and the ones motivating me to school is the people.
my friends. but situation does not always allow me to spend more time w them.
always different modules or groupings. sigh.

at work as well, the ones keeping me happy at work are also the people.
my colleagues cum friends. now one by one they are starting to leave.
makes me wonder if i should start thinking about changing jobs too?

Major changes to my life are usually not because of me..
but the people around me.

im always just there, waiting for things to come or happen.
lol thats a bad thing i know.

One should always have a goal, and work towards the goal.

I dont know why I have none.
So not motivated to do stuffs.

I miss dance. but im feeling too old for SDZ lol.
I wanna learn dancing outside but ill usually take the first step only when i have company.

Its always nice to have someone to do the things you like together.
when you are happy, its happiness x 2.

Sometimes i really wish I can stay in a fantasy world.
like drama, just watching what happens and the end.

Now, every step and word i say can cause an impact to my life.

==

oh well, enough of the negative stuffs.

its a new year to begin with.
everyting is pretty much the same.

Im happy cause my 7seven-x sisters,
most of them haf graduated and are working alr.
somehow because of this, we are meeting up more frequently.

well, you do know im not the kind to initiate meetups, so ya.
haha, we even have plans to meet monthly for k sessions.
i like. haha.

they are the group of ppl who i sometimes do get really angry at,
yet can just scold them and say them hahahaa,
but dont know why when you see them, den okay alr.
and because they dont hide things from me,
im also not afraid to speak my mind in front of them.
as nonsense as i can be.

speaking of this, i really dont like when a close fren doesnt tell me things.
feels hurt- its like when i ask what heppen, why, or wat thing i missed out.
i usually hear aiya i dont know one la, or nvm over alr etc etc.
just feels like im not impt enough to know, to be part of it.
or sadly, yes, you dont treat me as a close fren, since we dont see each other often.

or maybe im just thinking too much, trying too hard.
so ive also learnt to let go, forget it.

Make yourself happy - i tell myself.

what's meant to be, will be.
I should count the happy things that i do everyday.

last year, i did went back to dance!
joined waves and had a really awesome item with the alumnis!!
doing chinese dance- i realised it is totally my style.
haha even after doing modern contemporary for past 7 years.
i still think i suit chinese dance. sadly. lolololol.
it was a hard time, but i always enjoyed new challenges.
work decided to bomb me with high workload and shortage of ppl.
i have classes and tests on the practice and performance days.
but i did it, and this kind of achievement always keep me alive.
not sure if i still wanna join next year - final year to degreeee.
shall see how..

I'm also aiming to spend more time with my family.
went for a trip to hongkong last yr, last month to be exact. haa
and i realised how much my parents have aged :(
i also want to spend more time with my ahma and ahgong.

it might be good that im not dancing at the moment.
i've been pretty selfish these years doing my own things
dance. school. friends. and not allocating time for family.
and pretty bad to myself for always trying to live up to ppl's expectations.
making myself always trying to take up more challenges. to do better.
so that i dont get negative comments from ppl.
but i still get them anyway. so what for try so hard? lol.

Lastly Im really grateful for this awesome boyfriend.
who volunteered to enter my world and made everything better
listening to all my nonsense and ridiculous questions and thoughts
even when i had really low self confidence, have doubts about myself,
you stayed with me and made me feel that im the best thing that ever happened to you.
Thank you love ~

oh dont get too happy and ask me for diamond ring hor LOL

x

and thank you blog.
i feel better now.

oh did i mention i cut short my hair too!
shortest i ever had these past 10+ years.
its a nice feeling and i feel like keeping it at this length!
feel like dyeing it too. HAA

after all, YOLO.

and with that, i shall end here, BYE

Labels: randomies, rants, thoughts

1:36 PM - 0 comments

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Random thoughs

Hello blog.

feeling kinda free so here i am.
dont really know what i wanna blog about.
just gonna type random stuffs that comes into my mind.

im not one who is good at expressing myself through words.
so many times, i just smile and get over it.
if not, just cry lor. hahaha.

well, that was the past.

every start of the year, ill tend to re-read my old posts
and i realise how much ive grown
and yet, how same i am still.

my way of thinking changed.
but i still have no idea what i want in the future.

im always contented with what i have.
so i dont have much dreams or ideas about what i want to be in the future

i do still want to see myself associated with dance tho.
i have no idea why, but dance is always a part of me.
its just sth to keep me alive and going.

its father's day today.
parents went to genting with their friends.
leaving bro and i home.

father's day..
i love mummy and bro. but i dunno why i cant seem to say..
i love daddy too.

he's been a responsible dad, managing the needs and wants of the household.
but he smokes, raises his voice on tiny whiny things
and i tend to avoid talking to him.
so over the years, especially when i was in poly in my busy days.
we rarely talked. wonder if that was the cause of the distant feel.
so as i started working, money issues just float so easily to surfaces.
for some time, i dint really talk to my daddy. cause i was upset with him.
i felt that im doing my job by working and paying my own expenses/school fees.
i nv asked for more things, so felt that he shouldnt raise his voice at me over money.

i have colleagues and friends who are closer to the father instead of mother.
they tell me stories about how they can rely on their father etc.
i have the mindset of not asking him for help as i felt that it will cause him trouble.
he usually gives the black face which i dont want to see as it gives me bad mood too.
mummy also complained lots of things abt him that she dont like
maybe thats why i had that mindset.

but he's different nowadays. getting less hot tempered.
esp after my fractured feet incident, i see him more, cause he settles my dinner.
now, when my feet recovered and im back to work,
he still cooks dinner for us and even calls to ask if im eating dinner.
sometime i feel like asking him how he is coping with his finances.
well even tho that is sth my mum is not aware too.
bro tells me sometimes daddy looks like he is on a tight budget.
but i just feel weird to be talking to him about such issues.

okay thats a really random thought.

so my company did a really interesting thing by buying this expensive book
for every employee in the company: Strength Finder.
so each book has this unique code, so we can access and take this quiz once.
and the quiz will analyze and tells us our 5 strengths.

was really excited about this because ive always want to see what good points i have.
am i really what i think i am in other people's eyes or am i someone else?

the results surprised me.

1) harmony - dislikes conflict
2) restorative - likes to fix problems/find solutions
3) individualisation - sees differences in people
4) empathy - feels other people
5) arranger - ability to arrange/organise/allocate

there is actually a long chunk of description in the book,
i kind of summurised in short.
as much as im surprised, the content really says what i feel.

pretty much interesting.

met up with my ARTs people. gab ted elfa.
so gab was like analysing the kind of person we are.
he mentioned that im like a structured person who needs to work in a grounded env.
like a admin HR or some sort. haaa. pretty true.
its fun to have a friend who can analyse and tell you truthfully how they feel about you.

makes me want to know more about myself.
sometimes i wonder if i could live as another person
so i could see myself.

that would be really really interesting. hahaha

so, the bf is going for reservist tmr~
hope i can still meet him on some of the days.
but im glad i still get my daily dose of phone calls.
hehe. he is literally my real life diary.

i miss dance and its people and i hope to be still able to dance
like how i was in the past.

i wonder why did i become so... err. full of thoughts?

i think the fracture did give me a wake up call.
to tell me to stop sleepwalking thru my day.

work like a robot.
school like a nerd.
dance like i'm sleeping, no wonder fracture. LOL

the one month confinement does gimme some time
for enlightenment. hahahaa. my pace of life became slower
its like i took a step back, out of the busy, non-stop moving time
and i saw more things.

well, at the same time, i became lazier when im alr lazy. hahaa.

i can sense that im starting to have more expectations of myself.
im no longer that easily contented anymore.

i should sleep earlier and do something to my double eyebags ya? HAA

first, ill start my collecting ALL my mcdonald HELLO KITTIES!!
haa you must be thinking that im crazy.

but simple things like this, make me happy.
alright, cya!

Labels: randomies, rants

11:22 PM - 0 comments

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Happy 2012

alright!

after the long update. now let me just recap my year 2011!

full time working.
started part time degree.
still dancing.
attached.

everything feels in place, except i need more time!
haha time is always my limiting factor.
feel that the one im neglecting is actually my family.. =(

tidied the room, thrown several old childhood toys/stuffs away.
now that i'm 21, i should start planning my new phase of life.
time to grow up, cherie!

i should continue to have fun, go out, enjoy more.
even tho nowadays, i just feel like staying at home!
getting lazier and lazier.. or forever lazy. HAHA

new year resolutions for 2012?

haha actually, i realised i nv really set any every year.
for now, study hard! to complete my degree first! 3+ years to go~
and of course, every girl would say LOSE WEIGHT, but mine would be to MAINTAIN =)

and i'm still thinking whether to continue dancing after waves16.
waves 17 will be in nov2012 @ kallang theatre, tempting but..
i'll see how when the time comes!

back to reality tmr.
see ya blog, perhaps months later~ LOL

Labels: randomies, thoughts

12:40 AM - 0 comments

Friday, December 30, 2011

random food outings with ❤

Modesto @ vivo!!


Frozen yogurt!


Carls junior + movie!


dont rmb name~ @ liang court!


yummy beancurd @ old airport road!

Labels: ❤, pixx, randomies

12:51 PM - 0 comments

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Reminder to self~

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front
of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the
students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.


The professor
then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar
lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open area between the golf balls. He then
asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The
professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course,
the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The
students responded with a unanimous “yes.”

The professor then produced
two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the
jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor as the laughter subsided, “I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important
things…your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite
passions…and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would
still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your
job, your home and perhaps your car.

The sand is everything else…the
small stuff. “If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is
no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend
all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the
things that are important to you.

“Pay attention to the things that are
critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical
checkups. Enjoy a romantic dinner with the one you love. Play another 9 or 18.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the faucet.

Take
care of the golf balls first…the things that really matter. Set your priorities.
The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired
what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just
goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room
for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.

- Unknown
reblogged from Amanda

Labels: randomies

11:33 PM - 0 comments

Saturday, July 30, 2011

city hunter

CITY HUNTER is just wow.

finally another drama that got mi hooked like prosecutor princess.
those kind of suspense, action, funny, romance drama.
i will miss it so much, will definitely rewatch it!!

and i love the recaps
helped mi to understand some parts of the story
that i missed out, or din take note.

its gonna take me sometime to move on to a new drama haa.

OKAY this is so random.
so, goodbye, dont cry and smile~

Labels: randomies, shows

3:04 AM - 2 comments

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Hello world!
im back again.

gonna have 2 months of holiday!
poor soh is left to deal with maths on her own haha.

CURRENTLY obssessed with the drama CITY HUNTER.
new episodes out today!!! cant wait. LOL
if you haven watch please go watch!!
kinda similar to Prosecutor Princess (i realised its from the same producer)

anyways, got a little bored, so decided to meddle with my blog.
added comments link to end of my post.
please COMMENT if you have sth to say TY LOL
have no idea who is reading my blog. so go ahead and leave a comment LOL

i think i wanna remove that noob tagboard, so flooded with nonsense lol.

alright, ill be back again soon, to update my month of july.

Labels: randomies

9:42 PM - 3 comments

Monday, April 11, 2011

"Being nice to someone you dislike doesn't mean you are a fake person.
It merely means you are mature enough to handle and tolerate them."

i used to feel that way. now this phrase made me feel so much better.
- yea and i stole ah soh's picture. i like it very much.

Labels: randomies

11:32 PM - 0 comments

Monday, March 21, 2011

i miss laughing.

i rmb i used to laugh everyday,
when im in sch, when im in dance.

whr did my laughing genes go~~

laughing is a good form of exercise you know lol.

alright.
this month's a pretty boring one.
feels long too. i guess im too free.
too little dance and too much work.

just a slight note.
im starting sch next month!
studying part time..

wonder what ill become without dance..
perhaps ill jus grow old in months LOL.
alright shall update a march post soon.

bye folks.
i miss my class and dance.

Labels: randomies, rants

10:41 PM - 0 comments

Sunday, February 27, 2011

February

new bag from mummy! =D



this shall be a post for whole month of feb.
let mi summarise the EVENTS.

its gonna be dance-free.
LOL cos waves over alr. and my poor juniors are having their exams!

first CNY!!
first 2 days totally BORING..
but 3rd day! stayover at chin's hse wif DBT loves!


BEST activity of the day : SIMS 3.
everyone created their own character.
and hoho. we were messing with the relationships.

TOTALLY hilarious. xp proposed to me! HI LOVE =D

slpt at dunno what time and
we still went over to marc's the next day!


5/6feb11

next up BRYAN's 21st birthday party!
we went there earlier to help bryan prepare~
the place is nice!


a group photo of the DBTs!!
12feb11

sihua's 21st!

13feb11

Valentines day with my FREAKS!
every yr! (except last yr cos its CNY!)

love from XP HAHA


moni's 21st!

waiting for photos.. stay tuned!
22feb11

another random outing on thurs.
to celebrate XP's loss of 2 teeth and another 2 the next day
HAHAHAHAHAHHA LOL!

everything with fries is nice!
except that dessert recommended by the waiter (OHMY)

SATURDAY.
family dinner at raffles hotel


at the same time, went to jingyi's 21st party!


ahh so many 21st birthdays~
hahaha.

Labels: 7seven, birthday, DBT23, freak5, LOL, randomies

2:08 PM - 0 comments

Saturday, January 22, 2011

hi world.

work is really tiring.
workload is a lot heavier.

plus i need some time to familiarise.

i can sit on my chair and not move,
except for durin lunch time.

haha omgg.
and been rushing to dance everyday after work.
its actually manageable,but i get really irritated
when sth crops up and ill lose the momentum.

i wanna rest my mind.
feeling so tired.

dont even wanna waste any time to complain.
complaining wont help anyway.

just face it and do it.
yea, that's what ive been doing.

haha.

i always tell myself.
this is not the worst.
ive been thru worse.
so i feel that its stupid to complain.

actually. i dont know what im talking.
so tired. im waiting for my com to load some photos..
i wanna slp alr..

ahhhhh.

bye.

Labels: randomies, rants

12:33 AM - 0 comments

Thursday, January 13, 2011

11:45 AM - 0 comments

Sunday, January 09, 2011

hi blog.

im tired but i just felt like blogging for a while.
my mind is so packed with stuffs for the whole week.

more to come next week.
things will get better. of course.
it is getting better alr teehee.

work.
new things to adapt to next wk
having this sad feeling cos i wont be doin the things i will be doing.
and working with the team members.
but its stupid. cos ill still be in the same office (hahahhaa)
ill miss the doctors and nurses ive been calling..
they will just forget me very soon and move on to the new girl lol.

dance.
due to the 2 holidays. no dance on 2 sat consecutively.
i was feeling kinda no motivation for the concert.
but today! finally, i heard abt the whole concept of the concert.
OMG SO EXCITED!
now, that's sth to look forward to this month!
felt that im living again.

anyone who wanna come PLEASE PM meeee
WAVES15 - sp dance concert @ SP CC
28 or 29 JAN 2010 (FRI/SAT)
Tix @ $12

looking forward to meeting my dbt gang and hq's bd party!

wanted to write more, but im too lazy to be detailed.
so here i go, BYE

Labels: dance, randomies, work

12:01 AM - 0 comments

Saturday, January 01, 2011

bye bye 2010

hello blog.

another year gone~
its been 6-7 years since i started blogging??
haha, ill laugh reading the old posts.
and reflect how much i've grown.

so what have i did in 2010?
pretty lots of things. and changes too.

went thru year 3. FYP.
and finally graduation.
then became a lost cat.
not knowing what to do next.
but well, at least im working now.

several events that happened?
cant rmb much, but i know i had all my best moments
wif my DBT gang.

every moment with them is LOVE.
school+fyp+class+exams.
random outings.
nonsense dance practices.
annual dinner and dance.
phuket and many moree..

i am still dancing and im glad.
my juniors give me strength lol.
there are times when i feel that
i cant be of any help to them.
but i jux love their companyy.

and my dear sisteers.
havent forget u all at all.
its true we rarely meet.
only on birthday celebrations.
but u guys are always wif mi.

and i realised nowadays.
i tend to do things as and how i like it.
im less considerate noww i think LOL

i learned to reject certain things.
when i dont feel like doing.
unlike last time, people say, i jux do LOL

i talk lesser.
and only talk to people whom i feel comfortable.
when im uncomfortable, ill just blank out.
hahaha weirdo heh.

1.1.11 nice date.
and i dont know if i should look forward to 11.11.11
the day ill be 21 ..

still long, ive just turned 20 like 2 months ago only. hahaha.

alrite. resolutions for 2011?
dont know.

i need to maintain my weight! LOL

my life is turning boring.
im kind of starting to be like those working adults.
work sleep eat work sleep eat.
well at least i still have dance, for now..

start to feel that playing is not fun.
everyday jus feel lazy HAHAA
ohmy. need to change that.

so longggg.
ill be back~

haha anyway i jux saw this nice collaboration wif miss A and 2pm.

i like. LOL

Labels: randomies, rants, thoughts

11:37 PM - 0 comments

Sunday, December 12, 2010

boring

hello world.
pls jux ignore if u dont understand whats below, dunno what im writing too.
too random.

the 2 weeks have passed and its time for dance!
but. their everyday intensive trainings are mostly in the day,
so end up i cant make it cos of work.
except for some that are at nite.

that's one sian thing.

last last week went back to cc dance.
for a gathering with the rest.
end up getting called back by huang to perform.
regretted the moment i said yes.
and the performance is this fri.
haha and im really heckcare-ing.

that's 2nd sian thing.

din get to meet my dbt gang,
even tho i was so free (bored) wifout my dance zzzzzz.
was looking forward to meeting on sat, end up nthh.
and im gonna be busy again this week.

that's my 3rd sian thing.

kinda upset.

and i am really irritated
when my family starts to play mahjong. every weekend!!
my whole day is just gone like this zzzzz
i need to go out, MOVE and WALK.
makes me feel so fat at home.
but everyone's lazy to go out cos no car.
SIAN max.

sigh. tell me what to doo.. so zzz.

i dont have anyone to talk to.
and i dont talk to just anyone. lol

sigh. and i still miss school.
i wanna study.

that's so opposite from me a year ago.
definitely ill say " i dun wanna study"

irony.

my watch is still wif venus,
its been 2 weeks without wearing one..

i wanna play nice nice songs from piano,
but i cant coordinate 2 hands..
only separately. oh dearr.

cute thing is mi and my bro we each took one hand's and played tgt.

i think i need to pack my room again,
this time is my notes and books.
even tho my wardrobe is still messy lol

sian.

its monday.
time flies, its gonna be 2011 soon.

dont feel like sleeping yet.

any nice dramas to watch?
any new songs to listen?
anyone?

someone please respond.
im so bored lol.

i realised i haven talked to moni for a very long time.
maybe thats why lol

Labels: randomies, rants

11:22 AM - 0 comments

Thursday, November 04, 2010

say hello to my loved ones, thad missing!


One more time
I'll say goodbye
But I can't move on
I'm going in circles
Going down
Take these dreams
Cause they're killing me
Hanging by a thread
And I don't know how
To get unaddicted

ryan's choreo song.
it's actually quite nice haha.
somehow sad too.

self approved one week break from work after tmr.
but i dont really feel happy nor excited.

i miss my friends.
even tho we meet but somehow,
it feels like time is SO NOT enough.
dont u think so?

alrite and i feel so awake nowww.
i must have laughed too much from the running man show.
and my playful kiss youtube wepisodes.

and bye to the guys going botak. lol

Labels: dance, DBT23, randomies

2:10 AM - 0 comments

Monday, October 18, 2010

sometimes i just dont know how to react nor what to do.

Labels: randomies

12:46 AM - 0 comments

Friday, October 15, 2010

?

Hi im using my phone now.
Lol kinda stupid cos I just offed my laptop, preparing to sleep.
But here I am.

Nowadays I have become so lazy.
Usually in the past when I have good news or maybe bad news.
Ill jux spam people. Haha.
Share the love ma lol.
But now ah. Got news oso lazy share. Haha.

Just got one piece of good news to share.
My company decided to re-contract, better pay. Yay. So happy.
Lol but still, just for another 6 months.
The road ahead is still blur blur blur.

Advices anyone?
But den again, im so lazy to find pp talk and discuss lol. Haha.

Alrite shall try to sleep and wake early tml! Nite.

Labels: randomies, work

1:22 AM - 0 comments

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

when i'm bored, theres nth for me to do.
ill jut find myself browsing thru my dbt photos.
there were like dunno how many thousands
but somehow, i dont get sick of viewing each n every photo.

when i look at those photos,
ill try to recall those scenes,
the words we said, the things we did.
i'm surprised how i can remember it so clearly.
smiling to myself.

then ill start listening to all those songs.
u noe i noe we noe. lol

let alone the videos haha.

dont know why ill just find myself spending hours just doing that.
LOL

i've seen lots of people saying they miss poly life,
but im gonna say,
I MISS MY CLASS
they do play the biggest part in my poly life.

ill never want all of these memories
to be kept and locked at one corner of my heart.
i wanna re-live it LOL

reminded of our class song, thank god i found you.
"ill go thru it all over again, to be able to feel this way"

okay must be crazy.
but.. you know. lol

and i really have no idea what should i do now.

- i still wanna dance.
_____________________________

okay sidetrack a little.
the only thing thats keeping me going currently,
is the drama - playful kiss!

i want all the episodes to be out now!
but yet i dont wan it to end.

ahh so contradicting.

Labels: misses, randomies, thoughts

11:02 PM - 0 comments

Saturday, September 25, 2010

who's gonna be there?

im so tired,
tell me why does china have so many public hols for mid autumn. i want too.
3 in a row, and i realised their national day is coming..

omg.

alrite im totally obsessed with my drama.
and i love my new phone

it jux so happened that the time is 1111 =D

had really nice korean bbq buffet ytd.
recommended by my korean colleague.
and its not expensive too!

im gonna promote and tell everyone to go!
HAHAHAHA

Labels: randomies

1:17 AM - 0 comments